| This may be the last entry... for a long time. |
[Oct. 21st, 2009|04:39 am] |
This may be my last entry in a long time....
I remember the days of middle school, when I used to have my radio on playing good old KIX 106.3 before it was Hot 106.3. I used to listen to shaggy, biggie smalls, and shabba ranks. I remember when I was uncertain of my future, only worrying about falling asleep before school the next day, and even then I didn't want to pass out. Stay in that one point of time when I could listen to the radio forever. Nothing to bother with, only playing on my good old super Nintendo, making maps in my head of new cities I could make with Sim City. I remember the first time I played Secret of Mana on my SNES, I stayed up all freakin weekend. To this day, that game has amazing music. It was the music that kept me playing, and the story, genius. Then from there, I tried Chrono Trigger, god damn that blew my mind. Made SOM look like shit at the time. Spent so many nights playing it. Fast forward to high school. Still playing Chrono Trigger, endlessly. Each day was not only a joke, but a nightmare for me. Kept my head down, embarrassed as all hell. Hated almost everyone in my class because I felt back stabbed and unsure of how people would react to me. I always felt like a social outcast, but I probably brought that upon myself. Fast forward once again to college, got my first car. Fucking loved it. School? Fucking hated it. I knew it was good for me, but I felt once again I couldn't fit in. Social outcast once again. All the people I used to see at school were no longer there. No familiar faces, all new. Drove me once again to be anti-social, and Brockton of all fucking places too. Come to today, a few days before I turn 26. Working at Radioshack, and things might change from there. What did I do in 10 years since I was 15/16? All I can remember is getting that damn Compaq 233 MHZ p2 computer, then upgrading to my 1.4 GHZ AMD. Heh.... all those MBs I blew and processors I swapped out. 2800+ was my final on that AMD, and then I got that AMD 64. AMD.... ummm 3800? 3000? Not sure... now comes my 4800+ X2. Where will I go from there? Obviously quad core.... but who knows. All those files I lost over time.... and recovered. Here is my point, look back on your life. Pull up a yearbook or 2. Look at old web sites you used to visit. Look at the old stuff you made, go to a place you used to hang or go. Puff a ciggy, meet with people you haven't talked to in a long time. Tomorrow might not be here for some of us, so make sure you get some nostalgia now before it's long gone.
I want all this down, so at some point in another 10 years, I can read this. To my future self, at this point in time, I feel some new things are gonna open up for me. Jenn is a long gone memory, Naomi is as well. Jackie is nothing as well, Steph is who I'm with now. My true friends right now are Shaker and Kane. Fuck Joe, he's a shitbag. Everyone else to me is disposable, and only contact when I need a new interaction. This is a deep opening for me, and I look at myself, and upon self evaluation, I'm more out going then I was in Middle/High School. I'm able to handle myself in social situations much better, but not to my liking. I'm on my 2nd car, which I love. There's always stuff I can nit-pick, but I'm not going to. Games I used to play, oh god quake2. That took away my high school, as well as Chrono Trigger. Fuck, my head is spinning from all the time I wasted. Wasted? No, its time I enjoyed. I did let the world pass me, but fuck that shit. What did the world have to offer me? Nothing. Games opened me into a world of story and fun. What was going on in my school? Stupid drama, so I hear. I'm glad I wasn't involved in that. I wanna look though all my stuff, and see if I can find my old tapes of KIX 106. Here all the old songs, bring me to a time where I didn't have to worry about bills and shitty PMSing bosses. Although, I do miss my APT with Shaker. Good times, feeling good to be on my own. Fuck living with Shawn, that made my paranoia kick into high gear. Good old sitting at home for the whole fucking year, waking up and cashing my check then blowing it on what I wanted. No work, all the fucking time in the world. I had that feeling when I got this concussion last Thurs, I had that feeling once again. One more medicated peaceful moment. -Hewi |
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| COMCAST SUCKS |
[Jul. 26th, 2008|01:24 pm] |
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COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS COMCAST SUCKS 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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2008|03:57 am] |
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New car today? Seems so. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|04:19 am] |
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I don't know anymore. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 6th, 2007|06:04 am] |
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I'm thinking about going all out on self sabotage. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2007|07:21 am] |
*sigh*
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
What to do...
Looks like I'm doomed. :-/ |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 27th, 2007|09:24 pm] |
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I really wish Dec. 10th was here now so I could help her. V_V |
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| Update? NO WAI!!!!11one |
[Nov. 19th, 2007|01:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  tired | ] |
Y HELO THAR!~
So I haven't used this in a while, but I guess things are gonna be turning around soon.
I will hopefully have everyone I owe money paid back after Dec. 10th, which will include friends and bills.
Oh, I might also get a new car, and move out after then. I want out of my parent's house so god damn bad. Also, I'm cleared for work (Fucking finally), so I can get a job. w00t I guess.
Well, I think I am doomed to be single for life. Every time I think I got something going on, I either blow it, she's taken, or something else happens.
I pretty much gave up on everything once again. I even gave up on wow, since the guild I had is kinda going down the tubes due to shitty drama.
I've been catching my OCD a lot lately, and I think I'm losing. Poor Shaker had to see it at its worst, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. The only thing that made it worse was self sabotage, which I can't control sometimes as well. There are times I just feel like blowing my brains out because it gets so bad, and I try so hard to keep myself under control.
If it wasn't for Shaker and Joe, I'd think I'd be in the mad house by now. Everyday, I wonder how I would have turned out if I hadn't meet her... I really think she fucked me up in the head.
Ok, time to get out of this depressing rant, since no one really cares anyways. I put Linux on my laptop, because Windows kept crashing all the god damn time. Honestly, I love it. It runs faster and more stable than windows, and a lot less bloat. My average ram usage upon boot out of 2 gigs was around 500-ish megs. Linux, on the other hand, hits around 200. Keep in mind, I have all drivers loaded on both OS's, anti-virus, etc. Also, since windows is compiled for a 233 mhz x86, it's not designed for my cpu (which is a core2 duo). Now, Linux on the other hand, is compiled for MY processor, so is 99% of the programs that I run (minus the windows programs I EMU). In turn, it not only has support for both cores, it's DESIGNED for my computer's specs, hence why it runs soooo much better and more stable while using less memory. Gentoo Linux (what I'm running on the laptop) is running great! I have my wireless working (and I'm able to scan for Wi-Fi), my bluetooth working, my wireless kill switch, Ethernet, sound, CD-R / DVD-R working, and my battery life went up about 30 mins. The only problem I have is my volume controls, which I have yet to do anything about. Boots really fast, and games run BETTER than on windows (due to less overhead).
Eh, it's just been one of those times where the low point is (hopefully) coming to an end. I can't wait to move out, but don't know who to ask for a room mate. I have several people who I've considered and talked to. One being shaker, another being Maynard. There's also the possibility about rooming with Ben, but I'm not too sure about that. I see too much conflict with that, even though he's cool and all. Another I have to consider is Paul S. He's in a really tough situation and all, and I think would be a great room mate. The last person who I'd consider is KY. Shaker knows who that is, and I think that would be uber and all. Eh, I'm so torn, and I don't know what to do. Long story short, I wish I could just get out of my parents now. It's like lock down here. No freedom.
I miss being on my own, not answering to anyone, able to have people over until when ever. Man, I miss those 1:30am taco bell runs and staying up until 5am for dunks. I want to be able to be on my own, I hate being here.
Ya, I know it's a big rant, but it's been a long ass time and it's also 2:15, and I can't sleep. I think I'll sign off with a song, since it's so original. Really bad copy, but who cares?
The Evolutionaries - Slave
If ive only got one life
i want to waste mine in spite
distraught and gone blind
im drained of all my fight
i wont move where you tell me
if i smile its obligatory
im not yours
i never will be
im a slave to the misery
I dont know you
but ill
change you if you let me
by my left hand you will die
and by the right youll come alive
drink my blood
eat my flesh
take your love out on me
bondage is what i know best
i wont move where you tell me
if i smile its obligatory
im not yours
i never will be
im a slave to the misery
im not yours
i never will be
im a slave to the misery |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2007|06:49 pm] |
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I hurt my hand. It hurts. |
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| Damnit all... |
[Aug. 4th, 2007|06:54 am] |
Ok fucking spammers keep commenting on here. WTF. I reformated my main computer, built Joe a new computer, and I got my laptop replaced for like, the 932847982347234th time. Ya. Over one, and on to another. Shaker knows what willis is talking about. I'm gonna go and take a bike ride. w00t.
"We are the ones breaking you down
We are the hope to drown out your sounds
All Across the world you've fed what you found
All Across the world you're breaking you down" |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2007|11:39 pm] |
SIMPSONS MOVE = WIN!
Everyone I know is fucking moving away. Joe's gonna be moving, and maynard might too.
WTF
I joined facebook. It's evil. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2007|04:30 am] |
Ya, I don't know what to think anymore. I want to ask this girl out, but I'm not sure. Something tells me not to even bother, and the other part says yes. I get mixed signals. First, it's OMG UR AWESOME! Then, no word. Then I think it's going well, and then nothing. Happens all the damn time. I'm really not sure what to even do anymore. Should I even bother? Should I try again? Will this attempt fail like all other tries? *sigh* My exhaust pipe on my car rusted off. So, I now have a loud falling apart car. Once again. Fucking insurance has me trapped in fucking $200 checks, because if I get a job, I lose the insurance and the money. I could also be sued. I can't afford shit. I want a new car. I want to get out of my fucking parents house. I want to be able to live on my own again. I just want out.
The only good thing I got going on is that I'm about to order Joe computer parts and build him a uber tower. Oh, and it seems that P.T. is helping my strength in my right arm. As for pain and numbness, it's getting a little better. I hope it fixes my arm. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 20th, 2007|09:49 pm] |
This is from yesterday:
Greetings,
Account Name: ***
Realm: Thrall
Character Name: Udderpwnage
Account Action: Warning
Offense: Harassment Policy – Inappropriate
This category includes both clear and masked language which:
• Is a mildly inappropriate reference to human anatomy or bodily functions
• Is otherwise considered objectionable
Details (Note - Times are listed in Greenwich Mean Time, GMT):
2007/07/19 21:09:40 (GMT) - Udderpwnage General - The Barrens "Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face."
The actions detailed above have been deemed inappropriate for the World of Warcraft by the In-Game Support staff of Blizzard Entertainment. For further information, please view the World of Warcraft Policies and Terms of Use Agreement: (http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowgm/?id=agm01712p) and (<http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/termsofuse.shtml>).
For any concerns or disputes on this matter, please E-Mail WoWAccountAdmin@Blizzard.com mailto:WoWAccountAdmin@Blizzard.com and our Account Administration team will be happy to assist you.
Be aware that additional inappropriate actions may result in further disciplinary action, leading up to or including account closure. We thank you in advance for respecting our position.
Regards,
Triael
Game Master
Blizzard Entertainment
www.Worldofwarcraft.com
and here's todays e-mail:
Greetings Joshua,
Account Name: *****
Realm: Thrall
Character Name: Udderpwnage
A user of the above account has recently been involved in actions deemed inappropriate for the World of Warcraft by the In-Game Support staff of Blizzard Entertainment. This decision was made after a thorough investigation of the situation as a whole.
When a harassment report is made, all players involved in the incident are subject to review, which may result in account penalties. Though we are unable to discuss the outcomes of our investigations due to privacy concerns, rest assured that this incident has been looked into very thoroughly, and the appropriate actions have been taken on all involved accounts.
Any disputes or questions concerning the following account action can only be addressed by Account Administration. To learn more about how Account Administration is able to assist you, please visit us at http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowaa/.
Account Action: 3 Hour Suspension
Offenses: Harassment Policy Violation - Racial/Ethnic
This category includes both clear and masked language which:
* Promotes racial/ethnic hatred
* Is recognized as a racial/ethnic slur
* Alludes to symbols of racial/ethnic hatred
Details (Note - Times are listed in Greenwich Mean Time, GMT):
2007/07/21 00:06:16 (GMT) - Udderpwnage yells "n l g g a"
For further information, please view the World of Warcraft Policies and Terms of Use Agreement: (http://www.blizzard.com/support/wowgm/?id=agm01712p) and (http://www.worldofwarcraft.com/termsofuse.shtml). Please be aware that additional inappropriate actions may result in further disciplinary action, up to or including account closure.
We understand that these policies may seem harsh, but they are in place to ensure that every player is able to fully enjoy their travels in the World of Warcraft. Thank you in advance for respecting our position.
Regards,
Nyvenny
Game Master
Blizzard Entertainment
www.blizzard.com |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 19th, 2007|02:49 am] |
GOING GOING GOING AND FUCKIN GONE!
I give up. Done. Finished. GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER!
YOU HAVE NO CONTINUES LEFT! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2007|07:00 am] |
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I think all hope is lost on this one. Fuck. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2007|08:21 pm] |
TOOL CONCERT = VERY VERY VERY WIN
M-Nard got a 1995 3000gt. I'm jealous.
X_X |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|01:53 am] |
Back in the game? Appears so.
I still need someone to buy my tool ticket. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2007|11:48 am] |
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FUCKING DELL AND FUCKING UPS! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2007|11:32 pm] |
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10 days til tool. I can't wait! |
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